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Monday, December 04, 2006
You dont know how much it hurts.
So what i sensed was right, you're avoiding me. (If i hadnt found out and asked you, you intend to hide from me till when? i hung up immediately the second time. I dared not listen, i was too afraid to know the truth.) ha i was silly enough to think that you had problem with the phone agn and i waited & waited these few days, disappointed every night. I even went online to check the _ as you told me to and printed them out, believing that you would get to me eventually. And yes, you did. But it was totally /: "bein with u nowadays im not myself", okay so thats how you felt? I'm really sorry for making things so xinku for u. & calm and composed i may sound in those replies, but do you know, right inside, wo de xin zai di xie. I cried so hard that i couldnt get to sleep until four. When i woke up, i wished that last night had just been a nightmare. But it wasnt. After all this time, you're telling me you arent worth it, whats the point? You should know very well that i care. & saying that you do care though, doesnt help at all. What happened has made me doubt even more if those words and letters before were really what u meant from ur heart. Promises about forever do not stand at all. Is everything just a big fat lie? I dunno why things have become like this so suddenly, perhaps im really an irritating ass that even you couldnt stand. But, is it still possible for me to ask you to stay? I'll wait, patiently. I'm hurting alot right here but maybe, you dont even feel a thing at all. do you? I dunno what and how to say but pls do sms/call me asap okay? We somehow need to work things out, right? Thank you & Sorry <3>
reading i-weekly's horoscope for leo this week. "gan qing fang mian gei bi ci duo yi dian kong jian, shi jie hui geng kuan kuo. yao ji de, ni de jin po ding ren, hui rang dui fang chuan bu guo qi lai." so true.